"CLUTCH"

“I’M IN THE BACK SEAT!”

I could picture my son sitting in the back seat as 18-year-old Miles clutched the steering wheel of a silver 2019 Volkswagen Jetta, with 16-year-old brother Henry in shotgun. “I’M IN THE BACK SEAT!!” Chris captioned the text, undoubtedly with his seat belt fastened so tight his thighs were numb, plus having sweaty palms, a racing heart, visions of doom.

Been there, done that, and haven’t we all.

Many moons ago, I sat in the backseat of a red Ford Aerostar as daughter Alex adjusted the rearview mirror, put the minivan in reverse and began backing out the driveway, with her 15-year-old brother Chris sitting next to her. As we slowly inched out towards the street, I couldn’t help myself. “WATCH OUT FOR THE HEDGE!” “YOU’RE GOING WAY TOO FAST!”  “BE CAREFUL, BUFF O’LEARY MIGHT BOLT ACROSS THE DRIVEWAY” — something our neighbor’s collie had never done in all the years since moving into our Ridgewood, NJ home.

Even way farther back, I still remember the horrific look on my mother’s face as she sat in the passenger seat of a green Volkswagen Beetle (“the Green Bean”) as I attempted to use the clutch and accelerate. We had just left our home on River Drive in Titusville, NJ, and the reason it was called “River Drive” is because the roaring Delaware River flowed only a few feet away. 

As we jerkily joggled and sputtered along, Mom gasped, “SLOW DOWN, VAL, AND KEEP TO THE LEFT!”  “PULL OVER BEFORE WE END UP IN THE RIVER!” “WHAT’’S THAT GRINDING NOISE?” (I couldn’t find the correct gear.)

In an article from RAISING TEENS TODAY, the author wrote: “Nothing really prepares you for that pivotal parenting moment when your teen (the same teen who can’t seem to get their laundry in the hamper and forgets to turn in their homework) gets behind the wheel of a 3000-pound metal box and drives away while you stand in the driveway with your heart pounding, thinking to yourself, “Please, please just remember which pedal is the brake.”

The article also cited six emotions a mother and father feel when their teen takes the wheel: pride (with a side of panic), worry (and more worry), letting go (ahem … not really), a sense of freedom (“We don’t have to cart them everywhere.”), trust and hope and lots of prayers, plus a sense of sadness that we are honestly going to miss driving them and their friends to athletic events, parties, school. 

For my son, me and undoubtedly my mother, the word CLUTCH comes to mind. Its definition is threefold: to hold tightly, or a car pedal, or to perform well under pressure. No doubt my mom clutched her hands as I attempted to change gears with the clutch, and then breathed a big sigh of relief when I actually performed wlell under pressure — or clutched. Ditto me, ditto my daughter, ditto my son. 

BUT FOR GOD’S SAKE, MILES, SLOW DOWN AND KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!!!!