MERGATROYD!

My friend George is 90 going on 70. He’s Hollywood handsome, bright as a copper penny and he’s shot his age at golf nearly 2000 times. (That’s damn good for an old guy!) This morning he sent me an email I have to share. 

My kids, your kids, younger readers of Wandering might not appreciate my nostalgic giggles but I think George’s email is a wonderful trip down Memory Lane.  Here it is:

MERGATROYD! Do you remember that word? Would you believe the spellchecker does not recognize the word Mergatroyd? Heavens to Mergatroyd!

The other day a not-so-elderly lady said something to her son about driving a JALOPY, and he looked at her quizzically and asked, “What the heck is a Jalopy?” He had never heard the word. She knew she was old, but not that old.

Well, I hope you are HUNKY DORY after you read this and chuckle.

About a month ago I illuminated some old expressions that have become obsolete because of the inexorable march of technology. These phrases included: DON’T TOUCH THAT DIAL!  CARBON COPY!   YOU SOUND LIKE A BROKEN RECORD!   HUNG OUT TO DRY!

Back in the olden days we had a lot of MOXIE.  We’d put on OUR BEST BIB AND TUCKER to STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT.

HEAVENS TO BETSY!  GEE WHILLIKERS!  JUMPIN’ JEHOSHAPHAT!  HOLY MOLEY!

We were IN LIKE FLYNN and LIVING THE LIFE OF RILEY, and even a regular guy couldn’t accuse us of being a KNUCKLEHEAD, a NINCOMPOOP or A PILL.  NOT FOR ALL THE TEA IN CHINA!

Back in the olden days, life used to be SWELL but when’s the last time anything was swell? Swell has gone the way of BEEHIVES, PAGEBOYS and the D.A.  Also SPATS, KNICKERS, FEDORAS, POODLE SKIRTS, SADDLE SHOES and PEDAL PUSHERS.

OH MY ACHING BACK!  KILROY WAS HERE but he isn’t anymore.

We wake up from what surely has been just a short nap, and before we can say, “WELL, I’LL BE A MONKEY’S UNCLE” or ‘THIS IS A FINE KETTLE OF FISH,” we discover that the words we grew up with, the words that seem omnipresent, have vanished with scarcely a notice from our tongues and our pens and our keyboards. 

POOF go the words of our youth, the words we’ve left behind.  We blink, and they’re gone. Where have all those great phrases gone?

Long gone:  PSHAW.   THE MILKMAN DID IT.  HEY, IT’S YOUR NICKEL.  DON’T FORGET TO PULL THE CHAIN.  KNEE-HIGH TO A GRASSHOPPER.  FIDDLESTICKS!  GOING LIKE SIXTY.  I’LL SEE YOU IN THE FUNNY PAPERS.  DON’T TAKE ANY WOODEN NICKELS.  WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES.

Turns out there are more of these lost words than CARTER HAS LIVER PILLS. 

Leaves us to wonder where Superman will find a phone booth.

SEE YA LATER, ALLIGATOR!  OKIDOKI!