ELBOW-BUMP HELLO

One week ago I sent friends an email that showed “Mona Lisa” wearing a face mask. Plus an article in the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS depicting three elderly men in India taking an afternoon dip in cow poop as a “cure” for coronavirus. “Aren’t these priceless!” I said.

Then, this week happened. Stock market crashed.  Schools closed. Lights dimmed in Broadway theaters. Cities were quarantined. March Madness was cancelled. Cases of Covid-19 skyrocketed exponentially, the death rate rose, and scant diagnostic tests were available. The President declared a national state of emergency. It’s not so “priceless” any more and it’s getting scary.

So we have decided to drive north to home. The gated community in south Florida where we are renting has closed its restaurants, pro shop and fitness center. All understandable. But vacation is over. This presents issues too. 

I went to the UPS store yesterday and bought two cardboard boxes to ship clothes to Maine. I couldn’t help but eyeball the clerk and wonder if she washed her hands between customers or had recently returned from Italy. 

I walked next door to Publix to purchase potatoes chips and Twizzlers for the long trek. I decided to get toilet paper too because everyone says none is available anywhere. The huge grocery store didn’t have one roll. Why? Symptoms of Covid-19 include sore throat, flu-y aches, high fever, lung congestion BUT NO INTESTINAL ISSUES.  What’s up with the TP hoarding?

(Here’s a good toilet paper story. A Maine friend went to Shield’s Meats in Kennebunk yesterday to stock up. She watched the butcher put chicken breasts and several sirloin steaks in a brown paper bag. Then he added a complimentary roll of toilet paper, with a smile.)

Motoring up I-95 to New England presents other questions. Will we find a hotel — a VERY CLEAN hotel — to spend the night in northern North Carolina? Will we want to stop for food at a popular diner in Virginia? Before getting to Maine, should we stop in New Jersey and New Hampshire to hug our grandchildren? We don’t think we’ve been infected, but…. When in Maine, should we completely self-quarantine?

For the foreseeable future, I will follow whatever advice NIAID Director Dr. Anthony Fauci offers. I trust him. I’ll also clean my hands very carefully and frequently, following this tip from the city of Round Rock, Texas: “Wash your hands like you just got done slicing jalapeños for a batch of nachos and you need to take your contacts out.”

Elbow bump goodbye.