BEAR ON THE LOOSE

The email on Sunday night was terse:  BEAR SIGHTING. No message, no grizzly details, just two words alerting this condo community in the coastal woods of Wells that Yogi was on the prowl.

I’d forgotten about the email Monday morning when I set off on my sunrise two-miler.  Then, five minutes from home, walking along a quiet street bordered with thick forests, towering white pines and not a house in sight, a creepy thought seeped into my brain:  OMG, suppose the bear….? 

I immediately turned around and nearly bumped into a sweet lady clad in pink sweats who was walking 50 steps behind me with a little white fluff of a dog. “I was keeping close to you because I was worried about the bear, but don’t worry,” she said, pulling a small can of pepper spray from her jacket pocket.  “This will protect us.”  We both agreed it might be wiser to walk closer to home, “where people will hear us scream if he attacks,” and we bolted back to Gateway Drive.

Back in my kitchen, still in one unscathed piece from a bear mauling, I emailed friend Nancye Tuttle, a fellow journalist who lives a few houses from me, to get her inside investigative scoop. She immediately sent a shocking report.

Nancye wrote, “Our next-door neighbors’ bird feeder was decimated, and the pole on which it was mounted was bent in half. The critter also ran off with their filled-to-the-brim suet feeder. Another neighbor was blithely watering her white impatiens in the backyard garden mid-afternoon when the bear strode out of the woods right towards her and scared the bejesus out of her. My husband and I are now avoiding the back yard and patio, and no grilling — don’t want to tempt him with the smell of burgers on the barby.” 

As the days passed, more neighbors reported in. One said, “Heard him out back last night around 9.” Another added that the bear broke open her bird feeder, ate all the seeds, then triumphantly carried the thistle bird feeder into the woods, a la Roger Federer hoisting the Gentlemen’s Singles Trophy at Wimbledon. Another neighbor wrote, “The bear came to our yard last night and bent over two poles mounted with finch feeders. I guess he wanted the sunflower seeds.” 

(Personal aside:  Remember the summer of 1975 when “Jaws” swept the country? The minute you heard that haunting musical motif of two alternating notes, you knew something HORRIBLE was about to happen. I’m telling you, that “doo doo, doo doo” plays in my ears 24/7.)

Animal Control officials have sent word to the neighborhood that it is not legal to trap and relocate a bear, an activity that is not on my Top Ten list anyway. They suggest that by removing all bird feeders, the bear will then move on to sweeter climes in search of other sources of food. 

Hello, Kennebunkport? Any bird feeders in the back yards?