INVASION OF THE RUSSIAN BOTS

There’s persistent palaver these days about how the Russians are interfering with and injecting themselves into our Presidential elections. However, not one word so far has been published in the NEW YORK TIMES or WASHINGTON POST about MY problems with the Russkis. 

You read that right.

It started a year ago when, on a perfectly normal Friday in March, I received 20 emails asking to join my “Wandering With Val” mailing list.  (Many bloggers think they’ve hit the Mega-Powerball jackpot if they get one request a fortnight.)

My initial reaction was: Am I good or AM I REALLY GOOD? Vanity be damned! I mean, who are all these people itching to hear more about Mr. Wonderful’s golf game and my knitting projects during the pandemic lock-down?

The following week, immediately after posting my blog, five more requests appeared in my Inbox. I felt elation along with rapidly rising suspicion. This time I studied the names. 

One Mr. Frederique Pfannerstill asked me to send Wandering to

krasserh@aol.com

(FYI, I don’t know a Frederique or a Pfannerstill or a Krasserh.  I do know AOL.)

Another email came from a Ulices Ritchie, asking my blog be sent to a Miss Jackson Heller at:  john@clarendtransport.com.au  Within weeks I also heard from a Tessie Runolfsson (“Send blog to khouston26@gmail.com") and a Koby Green (“send blog to hanna.nasr@ses.com) and a Miss Sven Waelchi who requested I send “Wandering” to her email, NNMbady@hotmail.com 

Holy pogrom! Who are these people?

Clueless and concerned, I contacted my good pal Pete who knows more about computers than Bill Gates and Steve Jobs combined. He’s also more accessible.

“Congratulations, Val,” he wrote back. “You've been invaded by Russian bots.” He explained, “A bot is a computer program designed to automatically and repeatedly perform tasks without supervision, like a robot. In your case, the bot is designed to scour the internet for sites that have subscriptions to a blog.”

Pete added, “It’s a sure sign it’s a bot when the person’s name doesn’t correspond with the name in the email address (such as the one I received recently from Nettie Harris whose email address is keepitgypsy@hotmail.com)."

My bots, apparently, are being launched by amateurs who spam "for the fun of it,” Pete said. “A good number appear to be from Russia or Eastern Europe which is why we refer to them as Russian bots.” 

“There’s nothing special about you or your site,” he wrote. (Uh, thanks, Pete. So much for my wanting to take Wandering international.) “The bot isn’t looking for a particular site, just a form to fill out.”

Well, rest assured, my dear Babushkas. I don’t want to sound like a “pochemuchka” and ask too many questions that will agitate the SVR or resurrect the KGB. But for your comfort and worries, and with Pete’s advice, I have erased/eliminated/gulag-ed/expunged every bot from the Wandering site.  They‘re gone.

To Russia with love.? More like DOSVEDANYA, you big bot.