FOREVER

Remember Whitney Houston singing:  “And I, ah I, will always love you, ew ew ew ew, will ALWAYS love you, ew ew ew….”  (Sure you do.) 

Well, “always love you" sounds like Whitney was going to love the guy forever. But, in truth, she boarded the plane, strapped on her seatbelt and flew away, leaving Kevin Costner standing there on the runway all forlorn. And alone.

And look at wedding vows: “Will you love and cherish this wonderful woman as your wife until death doth cause you to part…” (Or some such.) Saying “I will” and “I do” at the altar should mean that marriage will last forever, right? My first marriage sure didn’t and I guess we’ll just ignore the national divorce rate that’s more than 50%.

So …  how about these FOREVER stamps that the United States Postal Service has been touting and selling since April 2007.  A Forever stamp should mean paying the exact same price today that I paid for the first Forever stamps 15 years ago, which was 41 cents. That is forever. But, like Whitney’s song and vows at the altar, that is not the case.

Pal Sandy Boardman, who doubles as an investigative stringer for “Wandering With Val,” called the other day. She was steaming. She said, “I was just at the post office and the guy told me the price of Forever stamps is going up to 60 cents on July 10. How can they call it a Forever stamp if the price keeps rising? Forever doesn’t rise. Forever stays the same. Doesn’t it?”

Everyone knows the United States Postal Service loses gazillions of dollars every year. They’re like a sieve with money. Current statistics indicate "the Postal Service is in debt a whopping $160 billion.” Hasn’t the hefty and steady increase in the price of Forever stamps done anything other than get Sandy’s and my lace panties in a knot?

What about the poor beleaguered soul who stuffs my PO Box 2800 in Kennebunkport with Talbots and Lands End catalogs, LLBean promotionals, hearing aid and Life Line Screening ads, weekly shoppers and AAA solicitations. (I haven’t had a letter in years.) Have the employees enjoyed any largesse from the constantly tick-tick-ticking upward of stamp prices? Not from the look I’ve seen in their eyes….

Interestingly, there have been only two times that the postage rate has fallen in the past 100+ years. In 1919 the cost of mailing an envelope dropped from three cents to two cents. Another price drop occurred in April 2016 when the USPS lowered their first class postal rate from 49 cents to 47 cents for a standard letter. (By January 2017, stamps were right back up to 49 cents.)

I realize that there are other critical issues to worry about these days. Like the horrendous situation in Ukraine and the jaw-dropping price of a gallon of gas, not to mention my erratic golf swing which is a hot mess and the front right tire of my Subaru Outback which has developed a slow steady leak. But those are things I can do something about. Maybe.

I’m stuck with the Forever stamps as they rise in price FOREVER.