$2 AND A DREAM

Here are the odds:  You have a 9 million-to-one shot of being struck by lightning twice, and you’re more likely to garner an Olympic gold medal in the luge (662,000-to-one) or find a four-leaf clover (10,000-to-one) than winning the Powerball. 

But last week one lucky Mainer forked over $2 at the Hometown Gas & Grill convenience store in Lebanon, Maine and picked the winning numbers (30, 43, 45, 46, 61, plus the power ball 14). The winner (apparently stuck in a snowdrift somewhere deep in Acadia National Park because no one knows who it is) can now blithely pay cash to purchase the entire inventory of L.L. Bean, dine on Lobster Frittata and chilled magnums of Veuve every night of the week, maybe even own an iconic lighthouse overlooking the rocky coast … for starters.

The payout is $1.35 BILLION which is the second largest jackpot in Mega Millions history. The winner has the choice of a lump-sum payment of $723.5 million or an annual annuity payout over 30 years. (At my age, I’d take the lump. Just sayin’.)

Even Fred Cotreau, the personable owner of the Hometown Gas & Grill (“I like to call our place ‘The Lebanon Social Club,’” Cotreau noted) will lap up the largesse of $50,000 for simply selling the winning ticket. Good for him.

This is all happy news and I’m not the slightest bit jealous.

Okay, a twinge. Everyone could use an extra million or two, but a BILLION? I like to think I could handle that.

However, there are serious issues to consider here.

Like coming down with “Sudden Wealth Syndrome,” an honest-to-gosh (Google it!) psychological condition brought on by sudden lottery winnings that causes paranoia and emotional afflictions? SWS can prompt people to make decisions they might not otherwise make (like buying out L.L. Bean, for instance.) 

People with SWS suffer from depression, anxiety and insomnia that the most potent gummy can’t alleviate, which is sort of amazing considering there are pills and ointments for every ailment from Bullous Pemphigoid to galloping gastritis. But the real issue with SWS is that, whether people win $500 million or only $1 million, nearly 70% lose or spend ALL THAT MONEY in five years or less. 

Could be a helluva five years, though. Mr. Wonderful and I, accompanied by our precious cat Sunshine and her personal vet, could jump aboard a private NetJet flight to Jumby Bay for a month-long Caribbean sojourn. We could buy tickets on Elon Musk’s Starship Interplanetary flight to Mars (and pay for William Shatner to join us). And … I COULD GIVE UP BAGGING BOTTLES FOR CLYNK!!!!

So, I’m thinking ahead to the next jackpot payoff.  This last one took 25 drawings before a winner was declared, so I will be patient. Expert analysis also suggests that all-odd and all-even numbers are drawn less than 3% of the time, so I’ll stick with a mix. 

All it takes is $2 …. and a dream.