TAYLOR AND TRAVIS' CONSPIRACY PLOT

Let me get this straight: the most popular female singer in the universe who’s currently banking billion$ on her world-wide tour and is photographed every nanosecond of the day, even while brushing her pearly whites, apparently moonlights as a Pentagon “psyop” (a government plant!) which, according to Google, is “an asset the Pentagon uses for psychological operations.” Really?

And Travis Kelce, the Kansas City Chiefs’ tight end who’s a two-time Super Bowl champion, doesn’t “love” Taylor but is simply helping his beautiful squeeze in masterminding a plot to sway the 2024 Presidential election by rigging the game for the Chiefs and then making a post-game endorsement for Joe Biden. Ya think?

Hello? 

Anybody home here? 

Here’s a question I’ve been mulling since these wacky theories became the morning headline: Did a large rock in the middle of the country get OVERTURNED, spewing forth a group of creepy loonies who actually live, spout and believe this insanity? Don’t they have something better to do or say? 

People, these two superstars are head over heels in love and having the time of their lives. Who can’t enjoy that? Why is that so hard to figure out?

Honestly, I could not tell you the title of one Taylor Swift song. I had never heard of Travis Kelce before this year’s football season. (Diehard Brady and Gronk fan here.)

But suddenly, I’m in love with their love. And why not?

I’m 81 years old and happily married. It’s been a few decades since this starry-eyed gal gave her heart to Mr. Wonderful and did all that dreamy stuff that blossoming love triggers — like putting the sugar bowl in the refrigerator and the milk carton on a pantry shelf, or racing into the house to see if the red light was blinking on my answering machine (“Maybe it’s him!”), or walking three miles a day to tone the tummy. I even had my own personal shopper at Victoria’s Secret.

Do I miss the thrill and excitement of a romance in early bloom? YES! But nothing eclipses the inner joy and utter contentment of him and me, sitting in our fireside chairs, best-sellers in our laps, Sunshine nestled in her little cat bed between us, and he says, “Let me read you something from this book — you’ve got to hear this.” Or when he (still) holds the car door open for me, or says, “Forget about making dinner — I’ll have cold cereal,” or when I walk in the door after spending the night at my daughter’s and he hugs me and says, “I really missed you.”  That’s love too and I treasure it.

Will Taylor and Travis’s romance make it to the altar? Who knows and who cares? Meanwhile, I’m living vicariously as they rekindle for me the fun and joy of young love. 

So as David Letterman said, “This is such a lovely thing. JUST SHUT UP.”