COLOGNE?

Cologne? Not the centuries-old city with the iconic cathedral in Germany that spans the Rhine River. Nope. I’m talking about Bleu de Chanel and Piper Sandal. Those colognes.

A few weeks ago, I went to hug 16-year-old Miles after a tennis match.  (You KNOW how teenagers enjoy being embraced by their 82-year-old grandmas in front of their crew so this took serious manipulation.) Amazingly,  Miles wasn’t at all odorific. You’d think he’d stink like a sweaty wristband after playing three tough sets in the noonday sun, but NO. His whiff was wonderful.  Turns out Miles dabbed Bueu de Chanel before the match. Apparently, he uses that or Acqua di Bio on a daily basis.

And …. younger brother Henry, 14, uses cologne too. My son Chris told me, “Mom, some days our house smells like the perfume counter at Saks. Both Miles and Henry are really INTO cologne. Apparently, it’s the latest rage for teenage boys.”

According to a recent article in the NEW YORK TIMES, “Fragrance spending among teenage boys is up 26% this year.  The global marketing firm Mintel reports that 44% of American boys aged 12-14 (Gen Alpha) and 57% of boys aged 15-17 (Gen Z) use fragrances on a daily basis.” Especially popular brands include Kilian Bamboo Harmony and Prada  L’homme.

Apparently, social media and apps like TikTok advertise colognes so pervasively to target teenage audiences that it’s triggered sales to this all-time high. One teenager in the TIMES article said, “Fragrances make my body smell nice and I look good in front of my friends … and girls.” Another kid said, “Many boys in my classes have an obsession with cologne. I don’t know why but they always gather at the back of the classroom and just spray cologne and smell it.”

When I asked Miles why he uses cologne, his answer sounded like a sommelier evaluating which dinner wine should be served with steak. “I use different ones for different occasions,” he said. “Bleu de Chanel smells better in the daytime.” 

Now mind you: this young man is 100% male. He’s got that wild mixed-master hairdo all the teenage boys are sporting these days. He plays football, basketball and tennis, and his bedroom is wallpapered with gigantic posters of Celtics stars Jason Tatum and Jrue Holiday. So I find myself wondering: when did my lego-obsessed, baseball-card-collector, devotee of droopy polyester Nike shorts grandson become a cologne connoisseur? And his brother too?

I still remember how proud and happy the two little guys were in their “hand-knit by Vivi” (me!) sweaters. (Today they wouldn’t be caught dead in them.) I recall them running across the living room to give me a big hug when I walked in the front door. (Not so much anymore.) I used to have good talks before bedtime, especially with younger Henry. Today, he could be working for the CIA. Ask him a question, you get a monosyllabic, “Yes,” or “No.” Absolutely no forthcoming info that grandmas like to know.

And…. serial snoop that i am, I peeked into their bathroom during my recent visit and spotted a razor and can of Gillette foamy on the sink. OMG, they’re shaving now. My little grandboys are growing up.