"PLEASE"

I was sprawled out on one of those lumpy reclining chairs in my orthodontist’s office last week, listening to him admonish me for not wearing my retainer 36 hours a day. “Wear it as often as you can. It’ll keep things improving and in place. Please!”

When I hauled myself out of the chair to leave, I noticed a scrawled note on a back door in his office: “Please do not use door. Thanks.” 

That’s two “pleases” and one “thanks” in less than 10 minutes.

Later that day I was over in Cape Porpoise at the lobster pound on Langsford Road. Leaving, I stopped to read the sign the owner places outside the door every day: “Enjoy. Come again. Thank you.”

That sign made me smile. And want to go back.

Yesterday, I was standing in the parlor of Kennebunk’s First Parish Unitarian Universalist Church, collecting research for an article about this magnificent and historic 250-year-old building. Tucked behind a door was a small chair with a pillow that bore this sign: “Please ‘DO NOT’ move this chair — it is protecting the picture above it from damage. Thank you!!”

“Please” and “thank you” are balm to my heart. We live in a world where manners have gone out of style, like lava lamps and pet rocks. Presidential candidates trash each other, shouting out language and images that even “mean girls” in high school might only whisper.  Monosyllabic store clerks often barely make eye contact. I feel downright blessed when one might offer, “Have a good one.”

There’s a side street here in Wells I drive frequently. (Admittedly, I go too fast. But I’ve never seen a police car hiding in the pine trees, so ….) The last time I was zooming along in my silver Subaru, blissfully humming along to Carly Simon on XMSirius’ The Bridge, a sign caught my eye.  PLEASE SLOW DOWN. And I did. Immediately!

The little yellow sign triggered my conscience. It wasn’t a scold. It struck me as far more palatable than this:

I understand the reasoning behind this terse sign. But still…..

One last quote: “Manners are the lubricating oil of an organization. It is a law of nature that two moving bodies in contact with each other create friction. This is as true for human beings as it is for inanimate objects. Manners — simple things like saying 'please' and 'thank you' and knowing a person’s name or asking after her family — enable two people to work together whether they like each other or not.”

Please remember your “pleases.”

Thank you.